I have been an adult for 6-7 years now and never in these years I felt that happiness to make up for the hard times .
God really tests you in every way possible.
But damn i feel alone now .
Can really just hope these hardships make sense someday.
I am thankful sure ,but i am not happy. And I don't know who to blame .
.
.
L
You can't just say you want this and that .
A lot of people want so many things and do they have it ?
Or in near future will they have it ?
Answer is not so simple I feel .
Lot of people work hard but the result are just par. People say that it's the luck also that matters .
But to reach that par level you need to work . You won't anything by Hoping or wishing.
You need to walk up to the destination
you're running of time and there's no other life
I am at work .
In the past days so many mistakes I have made because my ego doesn't like the fact that I need help.
Now as a professional
I feel people around you respects you definitely but they also compare ,doubts your advice ,which they can and should
but now a days people aren't considerate about ****feelings. They will doubt ****knowledge in front of you.
Making you aware that your knowledge is being questioned here .
They know nothing about the deal though,but yes I agree there's a sense in oneself about their project and I am here for it
but somethings have pathophysiology and we as professionals try our best to decode that .
Well.
This. Happens everydays
And I can't doubt myself in front of them so you make mistakes
Confidence se kamzori ko daba Dena chahti hoon
Definitely I learn everyday
But I want to best Every day for the patient and when I make mistakes I often wonder.
Trying new answers to this question everyday.
.
.
.
L.
read this post by Dr Sumer Sethi that you cant just hope and wish that you will be an Excellent doctor .
defining Excellence in Medical field requires everyday 10 hours dedicated for books And its not really the hours that matter ,you will have to sit long hours in order to form a chain of thoughts . subjects are so intertwined you cant just wander off in middle of the topic .It is really ALL OR NONE PHENOMENON.
And as much as inspiring and intersting the medical field is ,it also equally drains you mentally and physically.
But Its the WILL that keep you going not the Work
.
..
Doctors definitely study for themselves but also for the betterment of patients. i feel the ratio. is more of 40:60 and this amazes me .
you can bet and you wont find that ratio or even 50:50 in other field of work.
.
such train of thought.. really puts the mind in a pace.
well .
i dont think i can conclude this "train of thought" to a positive affirmation .
.
Rx
- STOP DREAMING START DOING
.
L .
this phase of life is really crumbling
with each passing day i get crushed under my own anxiety
people say one should always manifest positive thoughts
but with the kind of life style i have been blessed by there should not be any Anxiousness .i know i am blessed and i know i overthink
i understand the seriousness of mental health but i also know that i delegate things thoughts a lot and well time is going to catch on .
.
i understand the need to hustle,need to catch up and lead but it is difficult i feel when every task of the day requires hustle, strength and a strong face .
.
then i think about those who is praying for my life,my job and everything that intake casually.
will this crumbling feeling ,the need to fight every weak emotion,ever go .
until then .
Rx
- one day at a time
L
